Thursday in Nanchang, Jiangxi

Yesterday was our last full day in Nanchang and we were on our own as our guide was busy with another family.  We had plans to take a taxi to a walking park but the weather was really cold and windy.  We had a good morning but got a little stir-crazy so we decided to make out on our own and walk the 10-minutes down the street to where the McDonald's and a market called RT Mart is.  Let me explain that we have largely been cooped up in our hotel because our hotel is in a VERY busy urban area and crossing the street is VERY, VERY, VERY harrowing.  But we were desperate so off we set on our adventure.  I am still not used to being stared at so openly by the local people here.  Almost everyone stares at us, some with interest some with disdain, some shout things at us and others even go as far as to touch Ellie.  But we made it to RT Mart and decided if we were going to be stared at anyway we might as well take some pictures to remember this by. Anyone care to play guess that potato chip variety?  We saw tomato, shrimp, pickle, lobster, butter and MANY others we could not identify. 

At the store we picked up these treats to celebrate our last night in Nanchang.  The chips and wine were much needed and very good.......sorry no leftovers....

We then made it over to McD and Ellie had her first official Happy Meal (with me anyway) and Heather and I enjoyed a coffee and pineapple pie (not apple pie!). 

We took a few pictures on the way home to show the area we were in.  I really can't describe how busy and full the streets are with cars, mopeds and bikes and it is like that all day and night with horns honking too for added fun. 

We made it home just fine and Miss E took a great nap.  She had such a good day yesterday, her crying periods were much shorter and it seems I am learning my way with her to help.  I am not naive enough to think we are out of the woods but progress is progress and I will take it. 

So after eating at McDonald's, I thought I would round out the American experience and let Ellie play some toddler apps on my tablet and later she watched a bit of a video on my phone.  (Don't judge, these bought me about 20 minutes total of relative rest from entertaining my busy little love). 

Just a cute picture........so amazed by my girl's strength and resiliency.

We are getting pretty good at communicating though some words and gestures.  Ellie waves and says bye-bye now to her brothers on skype and she calls them gah-gah (brothers).  When I ask her if I can have a kiss, she knows what I am asking and gives me one, amazing how quickly she is learning.  Before bedtime she  gave me my phone indicating she wanted to watch a show and then put her arms up to me so she could sit with me. 

Do you know where I write these blog posts?  Sitting on towels on the bathroom floor usually around 3-4 AM China time because I can't sleep.  Jet-lag is really kicking my butt as I am not able to sleep more than 3-4 hours a night and the bags under my eyes now have bags of their own, just sayin. Today (Friday) we will go get Ellie's passport and head to the airport to catch a 2 PM flight to Guangzhou, Guangdong Province (go ahead and look at the map I posted below).  We will be staying in an area called Shaiman Island which is where the US Consulate is located.  I am so excited because it is a much quieter atmosphere and a bit more Western friendly.  I have enjoyed this week of my trip but think we will all do a bit better with the freedom to walk around outside more without fear of traffic.  I am also excited to be able to have more choices for food as I am sadly, not an adventurous eater and after a week here I am positively starving! Today also marks the half-way point in our trip, I cannot wait to see my boys again, skyping twice a day just isn't the same as being with them.

I do feel a bit of sadness leaving behind the province of my daughter's birth, I hope I have captured enough of it to share with her as she gets older.  Thanks for all the support from home and if you see my boys, give them a squeeze from their mommy!

Wednesday in Nanchang, Jiangxi

I will be honest with you, yesterday was a hard day for me.  Not because Ellie had a bad day, she actually had a good day but between the emotions and the severe lack of sleep I was just down and tired the entire day.  Parenting a hurt child in a hotel room in a foreign country is not an optimal environment for me.......who knew?!

Here is another morning shot of The Princess.....seriously can you even take the hilarious hair?

We had a nice breakfast in the hotel restaurant before coming back up to our room and relaxing a bit before our meeting our guide.  Ellie took to coloring and stickers right away, she is such a girl!

Together with the Kim family we met our guide and driver at 10:30 and set out on another adventure.  First we went to an ancient Buddhist Temple.  Maggie explained that this was a very popular temple because it was very old and beautiful even if it wasn't the biggest.  It was a bit strange to tour such a sacred place while monks and other people were praying but it was neat to see. 



 

Next we went to a park called People's Park and it was so nice to walk around.  They had multiple playgrounds, vendors, some amusement park rides and many ponds with ducks and koi. 

Feeding the koi in the pond



Our transition is going amazingly well, really it is but when she is having her hard times, it is, well..........HARD.  You know how when a child hurts themselves you can tell if it is a real hurt cry or one for attention?  Well a grieving cry is the saddest thing I have ever heard.  Her sobs overcome her at the strangest times with no apparent trigger.  Sometimes she lets me comfort her and sometimes she pushes me away, it kills me but she doesn't know how much I love her and how long I have wished for her.  She is showing spontaneous affection in grabbing for my hand, putting her hands up for me to pick her up and kissing me without me asking for it and I know this is great progress. 

How about some comic relief? Well in China it is socially acceptable to spit, with abandon in the street, in a store, anywhere.  So while Miss E has learned so quickly most things she still has some quirks in this area.  She LOVES to brush her teeth but will not spit out in the sink, she shakes her head no at me and spits onto the bathroom floor.  Similarly when we were eating lunch yesterday she was eating a clementine and I could tell she had a seed in her mouth.  I put my hand under mouth and asked her to spit it out in my hand.  She pushed my hand away and spit it onto the floor! LOL oh well, we will work on that

We are heading off to breakfast now, we have no big plans today as our guide is taking another family to tour their daughter's orphanage.  I think we will venture out on our own a bit and enjoy our last full day in Nanchang.  Speaking of breakfast, the coffee cups at breakfast are very tiny, literally like 4 sips and Heather and I joke about it every morning and have just gotten around to asking for a second cup.  The breakfast itself is buffet-style so it works out as most of the hotel staff do not speak English.

Oh my word, I had forgotten how exhausting toddlers are! Ellie is always on, never off and as much as I don't want to tell her no during this tenuous bonding period I have had to on a few occasions, "no, please don't hit me with the flashlight" (to my waiting friends or those about to travel, bring a flashlight it has been a big hit with The Princess), "don't put your finger in the outlet" or "please stop hitting the laptop". Seriously exhausting, I think I might ask for 3 cups of coffee at breakfast today!

Tuesday in Nanchang, Jiangxi

Yesterday was a great day, my first full one with Miss E! It is 3 AM now and jet-lag still appears to be winning and I was up for the day at 1:30 AM.

Here she is in all her morning crazy-hair glory!

Each morning we go down and eat breakfast at our hotel's very expansive breakfast buffet.  They serve everything from noodles to pancakes to dumplings.  Ellie ate well and we had a great breakfast, Heather and I even got to enjoy TWO cups of coffee......we needed it! Ellie is SUCH a neat girl, she doesn't get a drop on her when she eats and if she gets something on her hand she immediately gives me her hand to wipe off.  This is something I have not experienced with  my boys:)

After breakfast we came back up to hang out in the room as our guide and driver wouldn't be here until 10:30.  Ellie really came alive after  breakfast and her personality is so flippin adorable, she is so spirited and sweet. 

http://s164.photobucket.com/albums/u17/cpagano1/?action=view&current=MVI_0181.mp4

We were told we could not use a stroller when we toured the Pagoda so I decided to try Ellie in the ergo carrier and as soon as she was in, she nestled in........awwww!!

We met the Kim family (another AAC family) in the lobby and left with Maggie (our guide) and driver (I don't know his name, he is yet to utter a word to us on the 3 instances we have seen him) and set off to tour one of the oldest Pagodas in China, the Teng Wang Pavilion in Nanchang, Jiangxi.  The pavilion was first built in 653 after poet Tang Bo. 

Right after this picture we started up the steps to enter the pagoda and I felt a bit like Po from Kung Fu Panda with my little love strapped to me the whole way trying to make it to the top! lol

This is the famous poem for which this pagoda was built.  Maggie told us that children in Nanchang hate this poem because they have to memorize it in school and it is very long.

This is the Chinese version of Romeo and Juliet.

Ancient piano

This piece was called 100 Butterflies and Flowers and was made with real butterflies

It was amazing to see how their industrialized city grew around this ancient structure.

I am attaching this picture because I had just given her highness her snack and she was directing me to put her doll under the strap of the carrier so she wouldn't have to hold it.  We can't communicate but this little girl still lets me know what she wants! A few minutes before this I had taken our tickets out of her hand and she put on a show like no other, lip out, sharp intake of breath and immediately covered her face in her hands before burying her head on my shoulder.  Two seconds later she picked her head up and peered at me as Heather and I just stared at her in shock, laughing.  Ellie is going through a lot but is still just a little girl who is capable of being a drama queen.  Here is a video of her sweetness, I can't get enough of her. 

http://s164.photobucket.com/albums/u17/cpagano1/?action=view&current=Tuesday062.mp4



This was a mural of the important people of Jaingxi. 

Sorry for all the history pictures but my third-grader, Nic is studying China this week and I wanted to be sure to share lots of pictures for him so he can show his class. 

After a wonderful time at the pagoda we walked  to a restaurant called The One that Maggie told us was the fanciest restaurant in Nanchang.........the meal for Heather, Ellie and I was $45 USD.  We had our own private room and several waitstaff helping us.  Our table was filled with several plates, glasses, chopsticks, fancy spoons and bowls, it was a bit overwhelming not knowing what utensil or dish to use and when.  We were served course after course of the local cuisine including noodles, chicken feet and a fruit called dragoneye which tasted a bit like a plum.  It was a very elegant meal and when we were done we went to a porcelain shop as that is what Jiangxi is known for, it was beautiful. 

That was the end of our touring day and we spent the rest of the day in our hotel room with a short break for Heather in the workout room and one for Ellie and I walking around the hotel lobby with her purse. 

Who doesn't like relaxing with a little Ni Hao Kai-lan after dinner?

She did remarkably well yesterday with only a few periods of intense crying and grieving.  She let me comfort her so that is a good sign.  She is also showing signs of anxious attachment and coming to me for safety so I hold onto these things as my hope that she will be just fine.  My little girl is amazingly strong and I am amazed by her. 

Tomorrow, which is actually today for us as we have been up most of the night (not Ellie she sleeps just fine) we will be touring People's Park and a Buddhist Temple. 



Meeting Gabriella Lin Pagano

First let me tell you that I got 6 hours of straight sleep last night! WOOHOO, that was the most sleep I have gotten in over a week so even though I was up at 4 AM I still feel better than I did!

Yesterday was surreal, I know I keep using that word but I can't find any other words to describe the feeling.  I was told they would call my room around 11 and tell me where to meet my daughter.  Our guide, Maggie called at 10:55 and told us that the director was bringing Ellie to us and he would be here in 25 minutes.  EEEEEEEEEEEK!!! So around 11:35 our time I met Ellie.  The director of the Fuzhou orphanage and a nanny brought Ellie to meet us and Maggie was also there.  Ellie came to me clutching the little purple and white doll and photo album of our family that I had sent to her back in September.  They all did their best to translate for me and the moments were great but a bit awkward meeting your child in a lobby of a hotel! The woman on the right in this picture is Maggie, she is wonderful!

After a few minutes we went back up to my room and Maggie and Heather worked on paperwork while Ellie cried and cried and cried.  Let me tell you, her grief was palpable and it broke this mama's heart.  She was so hot from crying so I started peeling off her layers, she came to me in a winter jacket and snowpants, 2 long sleeve shirts, a sweater and 2 pairs of leggings on!

Here she is trying to open the door so she could leave..................sob sob!

Somewhere in the midst of her cry-fest she did throw up, poor baby.  She finally stopped crying after three days 45-minutes and what finally did it was the purse I bought her.  I showed Ellie how she could carry all her treasures, 2 small books, bracelets, her cell phone and chapstick in this purse so from that moment on she carried the purse, the photo book and the doll around.  I couldn't get her to eat anything but she did take a bottle from me. 

In the midst of cleaning up the throw-up and getting my papers back in order, Maggie burst back in to the room and said it was time to go.  In my haste I forgot my stroller, the ergo, more clothes for Ellie.....oops! We rushed off with another AAC family that is here to the civil affairs office.  There were 4-5 other families there and it felt like CHAOS! We went from room to room with no rhyme or reason and there was no heat in the building (maybe turned off for Chinese New Year?).  One of Ellie's nannies was there and she came over 3 times to pull her leggings down and button her coat.  In China, the children dress in many layers and I would have dressed her warmer had I had a bit more time to prepare, oh well, remember I admitted to making lots of mistakes this trip! Here we are with the director of her orphanage that oversaw her foster care.

I am so thankful that we have another AAC family here with us, the Kim family from Chicago.  It is nice to share this experience with them.  They adopted a beautiful 2-year old, Emma from Nanchang.  I also recognized another RQ child at the civil affairs office and walked up to Julie (with Serena) and introduced myself! We didn't have much time to talk with all the craziness but it was very nice to talk with them, Serena speaks English so well (she is 12-years old and beautiful). 

After the civil affairs office, the Kim family, Heather, Ellie, Maggie and I were driven in a van to the notary office for Ellie's province where we were whisked in and I signed a lot of paperwork and then again the man disappeared and Maggie rushed me out (gift #2 not given............shoot!).  We were back in the van to drive to Emma's province notary office and keep in mind no one had eaten lunch and the babies hadn't napped! I kept feeding Ellie Gerber puffs and Maggie gave her some sort of bread treat and she was such a trooper! Our last stop in our very harrowing van ride was the police station where the girls had to get their pictures taken for their passports.  That went off without a hitch but apparently there is a new fee imposed now for expediting so we paid the extra money and were finally done with errands. 

Once we got home I knew Ellie needed a little nap even though it was around 4:30 by then.  I laid in bed with her and she fell asleep with all her treasures.

We had Maggie order pizza for us and I think we ended up paying $45 USD for this pizza but it was SO.WORTH.IT!

I had already stocked up on food for Miss Ellie at a local market so she ate a very good dinner of noodles and a clementine.  Could my little noodle girl get any cuter?!

We played a bit after dinner and she really is such a funny girl.  She would pick up the hotel phone and turn and look at us out of the corner of her eye and laugh, she knew she was being naughty!  She gave me several kisses when I asked her to yesterday and it melts my heart.  This little girl's world was turned upside down and she is so amazingly resilient.  I know we aren't out of her grieving process but I feel like things are going well.  Here she is after her bath and before we skyped with my family back home.  The boys LOVED seeing Ellie and every time they would talk to her she would smile and run away from the computer only to come back over and over.  She waved bye-bye to her brothers and daddy so it was a great night. 

After the excitement of her day, I gave her a bottle around 8 and then laid with her until she fell asleep.  I am thrilled she is taking a bottle from me even though it isn't the norm by US standards.  I love the bonding time with her when she feels secure and happy and we can just look at each other. 

My sister, Heather has been indispensable! I have been all over the place emotionally and she has been there for me and has been amazing, I am so thankful.  At all of our appointments yesterday I was holding Ellie and all her gear and different people would ask for various paperwork or passports or they would hand me things and she would just do what was needed to help, thanks H, love you!

Overall things are going amazing! Ellie is shorter than I thought she would be and she is very healthy and solid to carry.  Her skin is darker than I imagined too and she is far more beautiful in person than I have dreamed about.  She has been using the potty well but I still have her in pull-ups just in case. I will be honest and say that the orthopedic issues in her right hand and foot are more significant than we had thought.  I don't care in the least except I pray the recovery and healing of any additional surgeries for her be easy on her, she has already been through too much.  I will post more at another time about her special needs , I rarely talk about it because it doesn't matter to me but I am sure people are curious and I don't intend to be cryptic.

It is not even 6 here yet and Ellie is still sleeping.  Today we are sharing a van with the Kim family and going to do some sightseeing to a famous Pagoda and also People's Park, I am really looking forward to it.  Thank you for all the support from home and to everyone who reads this.  I have to say, I only started this blog for myself so I would remember this amazing journey but I am grateful others like it too. 

I feel so blessed to finally be with the daughter of my heart, I am so, so thankful and love her beyond measure.